I really want to share this article that i got from kids reward chart website....it is true...
1. You should be ashamed of yourself /'Adik ni...buat malu jer lah"
Shame is a very
destructive emotion often prompting intense guilt. Even if a child acts badly,
it’s important to help them understand why the actions are wrong and that we all
make mistakes we can learn from.
2. Because I said so/"Pergi buat tu...cepat"
Kids respond best to rules when there’s
reason behind them. Spend a few seconds helping them understand why, so they see
you as a respected authority figure rather than a dictator.
3. don’t care what you want/"Tak payah beli/bagi...(apa yg anak mau).."
Whether your son wants the latest Ben 10 figure or you’re stuck in a battle with your screaming daughter over a cancelled play date, you have probably uttered this sentence more than you think. However, it can show your child you don’t find their feelings important and in turn that they don’t have to respect yours. Remember, validating their emotions doesn’t mean giving in to their demands.
Whether your son wants the latest Ben 10 figure or you’re stuck in a battle with your screaming daughter over a cancelled play date, you have probably uttered this sentence more than you think. However, it can show your child you don’t find their feelings important and in turn that they don’t have to respect yours. Remember, validating their emotions doesn’t mean giving in to their demands.
4. Give Auntie Agnes a kiss/ "Gi salam auntie"
You wouldn’t automatically kiss people you were told to kiss and the same goes for kids. Respect their personal space and allow them control over who gets their affection.
You wouldn’t automatically kiss people you were told to kiss and the same goes for kids. Respect their personal space and allow them control over who gets their affection.
(this one I not agreed...I always teach my kids to respect olders by salam n cium tangan when they met them)
5. Why can’t you be more like…?/ "Cuba jadi macam....." or "Cuba tengok orang lain tu..."
Comparing children with a sibling or school friend often plants destructive seeds of inferiority which can create rebelliousness and sibling rivalry. Instead, praise them for what they do well and offer help in areas where they struggle.
Comparing children with a sibling or school friend often plants destructive seeds of inferiority which can create rebelliousness and sibling rivalry. Instead, praise them for what they do well and offer help in areas where they struggle.
6. Wait until your father/mother gets home/ " Tunggu abah balik dlu"
Not only can this instil a sense of fear in one parent but it’s a comment that shows you’re not in control of the situation. Passing the buck undermines your own authority and ultimately makes children question why they should listen to you in the first place
Not only can this instil a sense of fear in one parent but it’s a comment that shows you’re not in control of the situation. Passing the buck undermines your own authority and ultimately makes children question why they should listen to you in the first place
(I always do this...hubby help me...)
7. You’re the best!/ 'adik kan hebat"
Strangely, not all positive reinforcement is positive. Of course your child is the greatest but too much unspecific praise can make it meaningless: be specific.
Strangely, not all positive reinforcement is positive. Of course your child is the greatest but too much unspecific praise can make it meaningless: be specific.
8. There’s no reason to be scared / "apa nak takut"
Children’s ability to feel safe and communicate feelings is essential for their growth. So while you think you’re being kind saying this, you’re actually implying that their emotions aren’t valid. Listen and deal with their fears rather than discounting them.
Children’s ability to feel safe and communicate feelings is essential for their growth. So while you think you’re being kind saying this, you’re actually implying that their emotions aren’t valid. Listen and deal with their fears rather than discounting them.
9. You’re bad/naughty / "Kenapa adik ni nakal sangat"
It’s not helpful to label your child bad or naughty as they’re likely to believe this is who they are and try to live up to it. Try showing disapproval of the behaviour rather than the child.
It’s not helpful to label your child bad or naughty as they’re likely to believe this is who they are and try to live up to it. Try showing disapproval of the behaviour rather than the child.
10. If you don’t hurry up I’ll leave you/ "Kalau lambat, Ummi tinggal"
Planting abandonment issues in your child is not advisable. Kids don’t know you wouldn’t leave them behind and when of course you don’t, you create an empty threat. Have patience, realize children get distracted quickly and find calm ways to speed thing up.
Planting abandonment issues in your child is not advisable. Kids don’t know you wouldn’t leave them behind and when of course you don’t, you create an empty threat. Have patience, realize children get distracted quickly and find calm ways to speed thing up.
Sometimes we know that we should not say those sentence to our kids...but sometimes it spontaneously out when we have lost control of the situations and of course our patient....I have realized, those word really affect their emotion...some times, they repeat the same words to others...imitate me...ok..ok...that my bad...bad impression to my kids and bad attitude to follow....
Ok ummi...start from not...my additional KPI...stop to use those statements....especially those words in ".." that I used to say...Ummi sayang anak2 ummi.....I dont want to hurt their small heart...every single day I am trying to be better mom....because what I did to my kids now will affect their attitute and behavior latter....
 |
| Umi always love U |
No comments:
Post a Comment